Happy Cinco de Mayo! This holiday – a regional celebration of Mexico’s 1862 victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla – has more or less become an excuse for Americans to consume lots of tequila (in shot or margarita form), Mexican beer, and tacos… without taking too much time to think deeply about our national neighbor to the south.
In that vein… please allow me to share my Fave Five holidays that seem to focus more on alcohol consumption than on the holiday itself.
#5 – New Year’s Eve
Pure amateur hour. This is the night of the year when everyone who doesn’t go out drinking… goes out drinking, and stays out drinking until after midnight. I prefer to stay off the roads, drink champagne, and watch the Twilight Zone marathon on SyFy.
#4 – Halloween
Almost as bad of an amateur hour as New Year’s Eve… except with costumes. I’m not an adult Halloween party enthusiast. Inevitably you end up with a guy in a “This Is My Costume” t-shirt drunkenly hitting on a girl wearing fairy wings who threw up on her friend wearing cat ears earlier in the night. To me, Halloween has always felt more like a holiday for children and horror movie enthusiasts. Give me a bucket full of candy, a bottle of vodka, and a marathon of movies like The Exorcist, Shaun of the Dead, Halloween, and What We Do in the Shadows.
#3 – St. Patrick’s Day
I’ll happily celebrate the Irish part of my heritage by drinking Guinness and eating corned beef (hold the cabbage, that stuff’s gross). I spent years hosting radio events that turned St. Pat’s into an all-day drinking event. I refuse to start the party at 6am or drink cheap beer that’s been dyed green anymore, but there’s still something fun about everyone wearing green and partying.
#2 – Cinco de Mayo
I initially wanted to put Cinco de Mayo in the fifth spot just for consistency having 5/5 at #5. Cerveza, margaritas, tequila… all good. But the inclusion of tacos – lots and lots of tacos – bumps it up a full three slots for me. Being celebrated on whichever day of the week May 5th falls also turns plenty of innocent “let’s grab a couple margs after work” situations into wasted coworkers and feelings of shame around the office the next day. Yeah, Bob from accounting put on a sombrero and fake mustache and said some questionable things… and now we get to hold that over his head for another year.
#1 – Labor Day
Summer drinking is my favorite. If you can lounge on a folding chair in the sun with a nice breeze and a cooler by your side full of cold beer, refreshing mixers, and tropical blended drinks, that’s about as good as it gets. But since “any given summer weekend” isn’t technically a holiday, that brought it to a choice between the summertime holidays of Memorial Day, Independence Day, and Labor Day. I lived in Wisconsin for 20 years, where Memorial Day can still be cold and wet. Independence Day is great, but driving, parking, and lugging your picnic supplies through the crowd to find a great vantage point for local fireworks displays can be a drag. Labor Day though… a three day weekend when good weather is still in effect, kids are back to school, and you get one last farewell to summer? And it’s in honor of American workers’ social and economic achievements making sure employers don’t take advantage of us (and oh, do they try!) That’s my kind of drinking holiday.